Wednesday, October 20, 2010

iPad List - Reason #2

Why I do not like the iPad - Reason #2

I can’t fold an iPad like I do my magazines.
If I can’t fold it – How am I supposed to put it in my back pocket?

And, maybe there are some cool magazines accessible through an iPad for free – but if a subscription card doesn’t spill onto the floor every time I turn a page, I feel I’ve been cheated out of my magazine reading experience.

Speaking of being cheated, there is no 3-page centerfold option on the iPad.
Plenty of respectable magazines include a 3-page centerfold spread.
Real magazines give 3-page fold-out photos of guns, boats, cars, and motorcycles.
Friends tell me, some magazines even put photos of women on those fold-outs.
I have never seen one, but I believe them.

A three-page work of art limited to the iPad’s 9.7-inch LED-backlit glossy Multi-Touch widescreen?
My goodness! Just typing that seems so cold, my nipples got hard.
No. Those photos are meant (and deserve) to be seen in all of their three-page glory.

Moreover, the iPad fails to give me the greatest benefit of all truly great magazines – perfume and cologne sample cards.
Thanks to real magazines, I have not needed to purchase cologne in years.

No thanks Apple. I’ll stick to buying my Mad Magazine the old skool way.

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